Leadership Lessons From Dad
My dad is a rare breed. Brilliant. Thoughtful. A man of integrity. He’s always giving back and thinking of others before himself. My dad taught me a lot when I was growing up. He taught me to be grateful. He taught me to treat everyone with kindness and respect. He taught me the value of hard work and perseverance. He taught me the importance of giving back. And he taught me the value of investing in people and experiences instead of things. But here, I want to reflect on a particular moment with my dad that has shaped me as a leader and helped me both in life and in my career.
My dad taught my brothers and me a lot of things at an early age. I have vivid memories of the three of us all learning to ride a bike, read, and swim before we entered pre-school. And he also took us on a lot of adventures. Many of the most important life lessons I learned happened on these outings. I’ll never forget the first time my dad took us to go swimming out in the ocean though. My brothers and I were all good swimmers in the pool, but we’d never ventured very far into the ocean to swim. We’d always stayed close to the beach and hadn’t gone out past the waves into the colder and deeper water. One day at the beach, my dad looked at us and said, “All right boys, we’re going to swim out a little ways today.” I remember telling my dad I was afraid, and he looked at me and said,
“Sometimes Andrew, you just have to face your fears head-on.”
“Follow me,” he said, and into the ocean we ran, towards the crashing waves. The water was cold, and the waves, though not huge, were intimidating for my brothers and me. There was a piece of driftwood about 30 meters off in the distance, and my Dad told us to swim with him out to it. As we started swimming, the wood began drifting further from us, and the waves made it difficult for my brothers and I to get there. Sensing our fear, my dad — swimming stroke for stroke with us — looked at us and said,
“Don’t worry boys, you’re safe with me.”
Moments later, we reached the driftwood and then swam safely back to the beach together. My dad just looked at us and smiled. And we all smiled back.
I’ve never forgotten that day, and it’s shaped who I am as a leader. When I was 23, I found myself in Iraq as a platoon leader in charge of 27 soldiers, and our job was to find and deactivate Improvised Explosive Devices. Whenever I was feeling afraid and needed encouragement, or was searching for the motivation to reassure my soldiers, I thought about that day in the ocean with my dad. As I reflect on that moment, I learned three important things that day from my dad about leadership. Leadership isn’t about rank or titles — it’s about what you help others accomplish, and how you make people feel.
Good leaders get you out of your comfort zone and help you face your fears.
Good leaders set the example.
Good leaders make you feel safe.
Thanks for those lessons, Dad.
